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You experience a great deal of loss and grief when someone you care about passes away. Older people, who are constantly reminded of their own mortality, are especially affected by this. Sometimes an elderly person’s grief is so intense that they experience shock. We consider a few symptoms of sadness and loss from loving someone, as well as some techniques to assist elders cope with loss.
How to Help the Elderly Cope with Grief?
Take these steps to help ease your loved one’s pain:
1. Keep in Constant Contact:
Whether your loved ones reside in their own home or an elderly care facility, it’s crucial to stay in touch with them and make an effort to see them frequently. If you are unable to express your concern in person, a phone call or video call is the next best option. When you call or visit your loved ones, they will have something to look forward to, which is beneficial for their mental health and may even have a positive effect on their physical health.
Every time you contact or visit them, ask how they are doing. A person who has lost a loved one could experience good days and bad days back to back; they might be doing great one day and struggling the next. Spend time with them, pay attention to what they have to say, and make an effort to see their situation from their perspective.
2. Confront Their Feelings:
In times like these, everyone is dealing with the same loss, but no one sits down to talk about their feelings. This can create emotional distance between family members. I’ve seen this in parents who have lost a newborn child; this loss creates a distance between them, which only grows with time. To make sure no one suffers alone, sit down with your parent and talk about the person who has passed away.
Encourage your parents to share their memories with them. Talking about your feelings of grief and missing your loved one can bring comfort to your parents. You must tell them that their feelings of sadness and loss are normal and healthy responses.
3. Assist in keeping them Mentally Occupied:
You could update your loved one about the wonderful things that have been happening in your life to keep their mind active and engaged. It’s not necessary for every discussion to center around pain and loss. By telling them stories and providing them with information, you can attempt to uplift their spirits and aid them in maintaining their connection to you, your family, and the greater community.
4. Ask How You can be of Assistance:
It can be as easy as cooking a few meals for someone, doing their shopping, or taking them out for the day to do something enjoyable to help them get over their loss. Offer to connect your loved one with someone who has experienced a journey akin to the one they are going through. Another method to let your loved one know they are not alone is to establish connections with others who have gone through similar experiences.
Additionally, you might let them know that you are always there if they want to talk to you about their sadness or loss. When someone passes away, people often express love and send sympathy cards, but as time goes on, the affection fades as others return to their normal lives.
This is the hardest part for someone who has lost a parent, spouse, sibling, or child. Their absence feels more prominent when everyone else continues with their lives and they figure out how to live without them. In such moments, they could use the shoulder of someone close to them—someone like you.
5. Keep Their Memories Alive:
When someone dies, they leave a trace of their memories and the way they used to do things. Visit your parents often and recreate activities or traditions that the deceased used to enjoy. You can read a poem, light candles, or plant a tree in their memory.
Holidays can be particularly difficult, as these are times traditionally spent with loved ones. You could plan special holiday activities to honor their memory. Don’t forget to mention your deceased loved one during major events. Jennifer Messelt, a grief specialist, noted that her clients often felt disappointed and sad when their children or others didn’t mention their loved ones or bring them up in conversation. She also mentioned that, for grieving partners, the second year was even harder because people began to forget.
6. Learn About Grief:
Many people experiencing grief don’t fully understand what it truly is, which can make them feel like they’re going crazy. Some may experience a wide range of emotions, while others may feel only a few. Those who haven’t faced such a loss often don’t know what grief looks like or how to support someone in such a difficult situation.
Your loved one may show these reactions:
- Crying
- Depression
- Yearning for their loved ones
- Sadness
- Denial
- Forgetfulness
- Anger & Guilt
Grief is not just an abstract phenomenon; it has physical implications.
- Fatigue
- Sleep disturbances
- Change in appetite
- Physical aches and pain
To Learn More:
ConsidraCare’s carers are trained to offer professional support and companionship to seniors. Please reach out to us at wecare@considracare.com or call us at 1-855-410-7971 to arrange care for a loved one.
FAQ’s
Q. How long does grief last after the death of a parent?
Grief doesn’t follow a set timeline—it’s different for everyone. Some people start to feel more like themselves after a year, while others may need longer to adjust.
Q. What can I do if my parents isolate themselves after losing a loved one?
Isolation is a common reaction to grief, but it can make things harder in the long run. Start by inviting them to family events or outings without pressing them. Let them know that whenever they’re ready, you’ll be there. You could also suggest a support group where they can connect with others.
Q. How can I keep my deceased parent’s memory alive for my grieving parent?
One of the most comforting things you can do is honor the loved one’s memory together. Share stories and talk openly about them. You could also maintain traditions that were meaningful or create new ways to honor them, like planting a tree or dedicating a special day to their memory. This can help your grieving parent feel connected and supported.
Q. When should I consider seeking professional help for my grieving parent?
If your parent’s grief doesn’t seem to be easing over time, or if they’re experiencing prolonged sadness, pulling away from loved ones, or having trouble with daily life, it might be time to gently suggest professional help. A grief counselor can offer them a safe space to process their feelings and guide them toward healing.
Maryam is a leading writer at ConsidraCare, specializing in senior care. Her well-researched articles are widely recognized for guiding families through the complexities of caring for loved ones, establishing her as a trusted and authoritative voice in the field.
